Self-love

Do you love yourself?  

That’s an easy question isn’t it? Of course, you love yourself; after all you are you right?

Actually, it is not that easy. Especially when you live in a society where you are constantly compared, judged, labeled and graded; it is difficult to accept yourself and consider that you are enough. Self-love is actually making yourself believe that you are valuable and worthy.  Loving yourself does not only help you get most out of your life but also helps you maintain satisfying relationships. Thus, here are some ways to have a better relationship with the most important person in your life, yourself.

People (espically youngsters) often compare themselves with airbrushed models and try to be more or less like them. So, the first thing you should do is to stop comparing yourself with others, accept your flaws and be grateful for what you are. Would you like to hear your lover criticize you every now and then? No, right? How can you criticize yourself when you cannot accept that form others? Learn to embrace yourself and believe that you are perfect just the way you are. That will eventually make you more confident and you will start caring less about what people think about you. 

Letting go of negative feelings and forgiving yourself for your mistakes is another way to improve relationship with yourself. We all have done things that we are not happy about; we all have made numerous mistakes in our lives. Instead of closing yourself out of grief, disappointments and fears of future ridicule; admit your feelings and put them behind you. Cherish what you have learned form challenges and how you have grown form them; and most importantly, forgive yourself.  

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Spending more time with yourself is one of the most crucial parts of radical self love. As, it will help you understand your feelings better and be comfortable with who you are. So, close your laptop, take off your headphones, turn off your phone and just hang out with yourself. Go for a walk or a trip, theater all on your own. As you start doing it more often you will come to know how essential this time is for building up your sense of self and you will grow to love and relish it.

Moreover, being around constructive people and feeding yourself with positive things helps you become a better person. Don’t be around people who criticize you and make you feel bad. Misery loves company, so do not always hang-around with unhappy, frowning and grouchy people. Talking to negative people eventually drains your own energy. Feeding yourself with positive things do not include foods only, it is also includes TV shows, music and what you do online. Even though occasionally  treating yourself with your favorite junk food will not do much harm, remember to take your of your body. Similarly, watch productive TV shows or sows that make you feel better.

Once you have accepted who you are completely, start putting efforts   to be a better version. Read a book that you have always procrastinated reading or take a trip that you had always dreamed of. Learn something new every day and try to be more positive and productive. Doing yoga and meditating can also help you connect with your inner self. Similarly, visiting museums, meeting new people and working on things you are passionate about also helps you connect to your authentic self.  Involving in social work, donating, helping others also make you feel more contented.

Celebrate your personal triumphs, both big and small. Since, it is easy to become distracted by potential achievements and neglect past accomplishment it is important to remind yourself what you have achieved. Moreover, always remember your competition is with no one but your former self. Winning and losing is a part of every game, the vital thing is to be better that what you were before.

Being selfish is bad, but being selfless is worst. Sacrificing sometimes may be fine but when you constantly put yourself second, you set up an inevitable pattern of behavior. Do not always accept invitations to places you don’t enjoy being, do not do things just because someone else wants you to do it. Do what you love to do, engage in your own interests and most importantly, learn to say no. Sometimes you might be in situations where you will not be able to decide what to do, in that case just ask yourself, “What would someone who loves themselves do?”

Having a great relationship with you does not happen right away, it is going to take a lot of time and commitment. Every day, do something nourish you body, mind and soul. And, Love yourself enough to take actions required for you happiness.

AtmaVarta  

You are what you eat

Today my cousin came to me and handed me a box. I asked what it was, and he told "prasad". I expected one of my favorite dices, rice pudding, to be inside it. But to my dismay I found mutton in it. AHH

I am a vegetarian, and the only thing I regret about being a vegetarian now is not being one earlier. There is only one reason for me being a vegetarian and the reason is simple, love. I adore animals and no animal is ever going to die for my taste buds. I didn't know my love for animals came with so many benefits.

You are what we eat they say, and I don’t want to make myself corpse of an animal. I have nothing against people who like to eat meat, once upon a time I used to be one of them. One thing that really bugs me is killing animals in the name of everything possible and telling vegetarians that they are missing something great in life.

Let’s move back to the “Prasad” part. I am someone who has done enough research about religion. And literally non of the religious scripture says “go kill animals and god will fulfill your wish”. People just need reasons to satisfy their taste buds, I guess. Killing animal and eating it is definitely better than making absurd reasons for taking away their lives and then eating them.

“You are missing something great in life” , “where do you get proteins form?” , “you are not preserving echo-system?” and the most funny one “ how do you celebrate dasahin” are the questions I often have to hear. I wish I could tell people that they were missing love and compassion and plants proteins are way healthier.  The echo-system part is actually very funny. I wonder if any non-vegetarians thinks “oh I am saving the planet and the echo-system” when he sees a plate of chicken momo in front of him.

www.atmavarta.com

I don’t expect people to just stop fulfilling the desires of their taste buds and stop eating animals! No, but what they can at least do is stop giving other reasons for killing animals when their sole purpose is satisfying their taste buds. Last but not the least not making fun of vegetarian’s choices just because their taste buds don’t want flesh. 

Her feelings-II

Pernisa took the longest way back to her home. Her hopes, her dreams had fallen apart that day.  Her eyes had swollen and her thoughts were solely on, If Swikirt will ever be with love of his best friend.

On reaching home, Pernisa’s mom asked why she had been so late and if she had been crying?  Pernisa had the impeccable excuse for her swollen eyes, “my stomach is acing” she said. Even though “stomach ace” might be a very difficult thing for girls, I am sure it has saved them in more difficult situations. 

She spent the entire evening thinking about how she had planned to ask Swikirt out right after SLC, then how they would go to same college and how she would express her feelings for the first time, how happy she would be after he finally said yes!! After all, girls are good dreamers, aren’t they?

Her Facebook was over flooded with “things will be fine”, “Sabal is also good” and “you still have probability of getting Swikirt” among which the last ones were the only texts that made her feel a little better. After chatting to her friends for an hour about her inane problems Swikirt came online! “Talk to him! At least you do not have to worry about him not replying now” her friends said! “That’s true “, she thought and for the first time she was finally able to press enter after typing “hi”.

After a little bit of formal talk, Swikirt asked Pernisha “What do you think about sabal?”.  “I don’t know” was her perfect reply.  “When will you know then  J ?” asked Swikirt. “I will let you know when I do” she said. Well, She already knew it but now she also knew that Swikirt will be talking to her, may be for his best friend, but still And that’s what mattered!! ! “Good going parni! “She told herself.

They talked for next two hours about how great Harry Potter was, how reading 2 states was ten times better than watching it, how stupid Mr. Banshal was and how they liked some food. Pernisa realized, “the worst day of her life” had changed to “best day in forever.”

Next day, Pernisa was both nervous and excited about facing Swikirt, She started getting ready earlier than usual and made sure her hair, skin looked good enough. She took extra time to brush her teeth, iron her clothes and to perfectly wing her eyeliner.

Not only that, she reached school thirty minutes before the bell and waited for Swikrit to come. Her friends were surprised to see her that early, “Are you all right?” they asked. “Yes I am super fine” she replied. When she had finished telling her friends about her reason for being super fine Swikirit and Sabal entered the classroom.

Pernisa could not help giving a big smile to Swikirt but to her incredulity Swikirt did not even respond. She felt like an idiot! And for rest of the day she felt so ashamed and she could not wait to go home.

She spent her entire evening waiting for Swikrit to appear online. When he finally did, she was glad that she did not have to be the one to start the conversation. Pernisa asked why he did not talk to her that day, to which swikirt said he is not very comfortable around girls.

Days passed and so did months, they would talk every day for hours and share every little things with each other. In other words, they had become virtual best friends. Pernisa liked Swikirt more than ever and she was pretty sure that Swikirt liked her too. She was so happy that her crush had turned out to be a best friend who liked her.

However, one thing always bugged her, and that was Swikirt’s behavior at school. Forget about talking he would not even smile at her. Which made Pernisa find things fishy!

One day, she could not resist herself! So, somewhere in between their never ending conversation, she asked, “you act like you don’t even know me at school, sometimes I feel like you are not even Swikirt !”

“Yes, I am not him” was the reply!

To be continued….

Not into abyss of despair

Love came to Ishor like a cool autumn breeze. The Breeze beating gently across his face and with his eyes closed he dreamt. He dreamt of a land far, far where it was only him and her.  She was nothing like him yet everything he wanted. However, once the breeze grew stronger, the gentle breeze became a savage winter gale, hurling ice and snow upon him and making him shun from reality.

He knows his heart is forever broken and he now knows every heart in this world is not as good as his. However, he still hopes that someday in future he will find another boat to sail on. Songs of hope are always upon his lips though pain of lifetime is seen in his eyes. The only one who will be with him forever is him, he has known. So, he tells himself his problems and woes and after a moment he gives himself solutions, reasons and consolations.

He has been able to collect all the broken pieces of his heart, stand up and fake a smile. He still has to join the pieces to be able to feel again. As, for now, all he feels is heart less and numb. He doesn't feel love because he has erased the word from his dictionary. He does not feel hate because that is not what he is made for. He does not feel hurt because he has been used to it.  All he is, is thankful and proud. Thankful to nature for making him see how bitter, malicious, nasty, villainous, mean and unkind people can be. And proud for being able to stand up, walk, help, smile, and hope even after going through something he could never imagine. He is also gratified for not losing his control and not falling into the abyss of despair and hopelessness.

new outlook

new outlook

Past few weeks have given me a total new outlook to life.  I don’t know if I have suddenly become more mature but my thoughts about living life have changed from  roaming around, laughing at everything, getting things done on last minute to being good, content, positive and working my dreams.

How often do we think of getting good things in life? Always? And how often do we think of being good? Sometimes? I have a great faith in Karma, that is to say, I strongly believe in what goes around comes around. So, instead of wishing to get good things, I just have started to do good things, feel great for what I have and be positive about everything possible. What do we have when we are born? Nothing right and we take nothing back! So why worry about getting things? We are not going to have anything forever anyway! Moreover, I have found easiest way to be positive which is telling myself that things could have been worse!

I have started to take problems as challenges. Don’t we learn new things every time we go through a difficult situation?  Needless to say it makes us stronger and more mature. Life is not always bed of roses, and avoiding problems will only make facing other problems in life tougher. Instead of trying to make children’s’ life easy and comfortable, should not parents make them ready to face problems? I often wonder. Once my prayers used to be, “please do not make me go through that” and now surprisingly it has changed to “give me courage to face everything that comes along.”

Dreams, aims and ambitions how important are they? I had never thought about my ambitions as much as I do in current date. Being able to give a proper speech in front of small group of people makes me so happy, how would it feel like to be a great public speaker? Being able to write a small program on my own makes my day, how would it feel like to be a superb programmer? Working on what we dream about is very important and so is being very positive about it.

Often times in life we search for happiness outside. We expect our loved ones to do things for us and our unfulfilled expectations become the major sources of unhappiness. Why do we depend on others for our own happiness? When happiness is all about being good, content, positive and making our dreams come true. 

MY encounter with Nepali education system

Nepali education system is a synonym for rote learning. I do not feel like I am studying engineering instead I feel like I am studying course which is all about mugging up. Seriously, do the people who make our syllabus know anything called creativity, understanding and  intelligence. I wonder why we need to mug up those stupid formulas and definitions, I mean we can just Google them. What we cannot Google is understating, creativity and new ideas. Should not understanding something be given more priority then mugging up? BUT no! what they want is a copy of  things that already exist. They do not want us to apply it, nor do they want us to use our minds and make something new out of it. Today's Physics practical was the lamest thing I have ever seen. I bet they do not understand meaning of practicals! Back in a levels we had to do as many practicals because we could get anything at practicals exams! And now, a practical out of 8 practicals is sure to come. That clearly means students are not taught to do anything except the 8 things. Is that what we study for, to be able to do only the things that have been done? Plus we had to write all theory, formulas required to do the practical. Is practical for proving a formula or to test if you remember a formula? Back in high school we were given formulas still the problems were challenging enough. Test on understanding, creativity if you can! any one can take a mugging up test! On top of all I do not understand why computer engineers need physics when one already needs to have physics as his/her major at high school to apply for it! Are not economics or business techniques more important?  Well, I will not suggest any a levels students to join engineering or more importantly courses offered by Nepali universities. Those universities may be great for +2 students (as they are used to the system) but not for a levels. Once you start the course you will feel like you are travelling back in time. I mean back to SLC where you had to remember things more than understanding them. I wish i had tried to go abroad or joined somewhere where they would give more focus on understanding.  I hope i will be able to get along with thing which is called engineering but is  actually   rote learning process. 

Her Feelings

“Mom can you please bring me my watch?  It’s right on my table” Pernisa yield, while fastening her shoe lace. “Well you ought to remember your things before putting on your shoes”, her Mom said giving her the watch.  “Definitely, mom from tomorrow” she replied. “Well that’s what you have been saying since last month” her mom said. “Bye mom “saying this; she hurried to school.

Like always,  Pernisa reached school just before the bell and like past  eight months she checked if Swikrit’s  bag was on his desk before placing hers on its place.  Unlike, most of the days, checking for Swikrit’s bag gave her unhappiness. “Why does he have to be absent?” she thought. At assembly she kept glancing at the place Swikrit’s line, the more she looked there the sadder she became.

She hated her first class, not only because it was math but also because of her teacher. The teacher, Mr. Banshal always asked some of the students to solve a question or two on the white board before beginning a new chapter; that day he asked Pernisa. Though, Persnisa tried hard she could not solve the problem. Thus, the teacher not only insulted her but also placed next to Samira, who was one of the favorite students of math teacher. However, most of the girls did not like her for being bossy and egotistical. Right after she had been sited (on her new seat), Swikrit and his best friend, Sabal arrived. Pernisha was happy for two reasons, first Swikrit did not see her being scolded; second her place was now nearer to Swikrit’s and she did not have to turn back to look at him.

The second period was optional math, and Pernisha hated having two maths periods in a row. “You are so poor at math, and that problem on the last period I could have solved it in a sec”, Samira said while Pernisha was struggling to solve the classwork. Pernisa, did not say a word, because the only feeling she had was pleasure, pleasure of getting to see Swikrit, who rarely talked to her, after a week of vacation.

On breaks, Pernisa was always busy hanging out with her friends. She did not have one perfect friend but she had many friends who were good on their own ways. While they were talking one of her friends, Manisha said, “ Perni, now you have to sit with that  horrible girl, you know it’s  difficult to put up with her .“ “Why don’t you ask mr. Banshal to change your seat?” said Meera. “Have you gone nuts? Why should I ask that pigheaded to change my seat? When my seat is now close to Swikirt’s?” Pernisha answered.

After the break was Nepali class, which Pernisa loved. The teacher called each student to his table to check the assignment, which was writing a letter. While he was correcting Samira’s he addressed the whole class  and said “Look what one of the best students of your class has written on address “Biratnagar, Kaski””. The entire class laughed while Pernisa just smirked. “Samira, I know you get good marks in exams but it’s useless if you don’t know the world around you” said the teacher. Pernisa could not be happier; what could be better than a teacher scolding someone who scorns you.

The day passed by, just before the bell of the last break, when Pernisa was alone, Swikrit gave her a piece of paper and told “reply as soon as possible”. Pernisa was traumatized! She could not believe her eyes!! The whole world stopped for a while! Before she could utter a word, Swikirt went away! And before she could open the paper the teacher entered, so did the rest of the class. She could not wait to for the class to end; she kept imagining what it could be. A love letter!! She thought, who writes love letters? She kept guessing what it could be. As she could not read the letter in front of Samira, who had been quiet after Nepali period. So, she had to wait for another period to end, needless to say it was very difficult. When, Samira was gone, she quickly unfolded the paper and read it:

Dear Pernisa,

                I have been waiting to talk to you since long, but I could not gather the courage to. I had crush on you since the 7th grade and I cannot help falling for you. I hope you understand my feelings. I will be waiting for your reply.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   YOURS

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Sabal

She was shocked!, suddenly her eyes watered, she could not believe what she read! Why did it have to be Swikrit’s best friend why?? She cried. Her friends gathered up and consoled her. While one of her friends Nirjala, who did not know well about Pernisa’s feelings said “Well, there is nothing bad about Sabal; he is handsome; he studies well and he loves you, what more do you need?” “SWIKIRT” Persnisa answered.

TO be continued…..